i barfeds in our rink
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize