I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
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you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
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After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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