We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize