I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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