Tell her she can't have a vagina
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
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There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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