It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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