I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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