We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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