There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize