Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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