well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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