Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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