Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize