I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
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Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
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The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize