He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
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So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
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True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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