Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
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