Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize