Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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