Ambien. No doubt about it.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
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