Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
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Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
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Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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