somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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