God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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