i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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