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I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
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