just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize