Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.

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  (202): I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar. http://tfl.nu/npd2
  Replies (7) Good night (2640) Bad night (560) Order T-Shirt
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  (409): View more from Texas

  Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs

  (1-409): View more from Texas

  His name should be shouldn't

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  (409): Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs (1-409): His name should be shouldn't http://tfl.nu/ggoo
  Replies (48) Good night (709) Bad night (1932) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?

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  (302): is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture? http://tfl.nu/hrqs
  Replies (4) Good night (1314) Bad night (3711) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume

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  (949): im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume http://tfl.nu/ixw0
  Replies (27) Good night (1147) Bad night (4123) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job

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  (301): Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job http://tfl.nu/jdmg
  Replies (21) Good night (3497) Bad night (2041) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.

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  (937): I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens. http://tfl.nu/zmnj
  Replies (18) Good night (6562) Bad night (1050) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?

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  (937): Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes? http://tfl.nu/r1tf
  Replies (14) Good night (4895) Bad night (761) Order T-Shirt
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.

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  (906): I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap. http://tfl.nu/cxzw
  Replies (5) Good night (1733) Bad night (2648) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.

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  (318): Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks. http://tfl.nu/1pi3
  Replies (5) Good night (2402) Bad night (766) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot

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  (404): the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot http://tfl.nu/9cq3
  Replies (5) Good night (1366) Bad night (445) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off

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  (360): I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off http://tfl.nu/h8mk
  Replies (11) Good night (2089) Bad night (419) Order T-Shirt
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..

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  (229): Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it .. http://tfl.nu/xli3
  Replies (11) Good night (2677) Bad night (542)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.

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  (785): As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester. http://tfl.nu/qann
  Replies (7) Good night (581) Bad night (303) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.

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  (765): Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros. http://tfl.nu/gkb1
  Replies (0) Good night (479) Bad night (259)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.

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  (781): not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that. http://tfl.nu/qu2b
  Replies (1) Good night (961) Bad night (162)

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