i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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