so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
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You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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