Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize