I am in a vortex of obligation.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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