im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize