I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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