Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize