i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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