They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize