I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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