I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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