If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
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I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
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I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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