a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
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we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
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I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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