They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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