i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
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i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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