Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize