peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize