Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize