We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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