We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize