So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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