Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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