Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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