if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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